Post #5: Top Questions to Ask (and NOT to ask) Your Gamer Guy

Hey ladies! Sorry it’s taken so long for me to update, but we all know how crazy things can be over Thanksgiving! A day filled with my family yelling at each other about who spilt the gravy love and giving thanks for all we have!

As promised, this post is going to cover questions you can ask your gamer about his gaming and/or nerd culture in general to spark some great conversations. These have worked wonders for me in the past, so I’m sure they’ll work for you too! 🙂 I’m also going to include a few don’ts of conversation starters, because there are a few that will just piss your gamer off. Make sure to avoid those.

This simple guide to questions is sure to help you spark up some interesting conversations with your man, plus asking these questions will let him know that you care. 🙂

Happy reading, and stay tuned for an awesome Christmas themed post!

1. Do ask: “So what is this game about?”

This one is a classic. My boyfriend LOVES when I ask him this question because it makes him feel like a video game god when he can explain a game in detail. Ladies, games no longer consist of simply “you shoot the spaceships”; gamer guys love feeling like they know stuff, so chances are when you ask him this question he’ll be inclined to tell you the background of that game, it’s sequel, and how it’s played. This will be useful later (if you listen to his answer) because you can ask him to clarify on things he says here, which can lead to an even better discussion.

2. Don’t ask: “Are you winning?”

Ladies, this question makes you sound just plain ditsy. This isn’t Mario Cart, trollmates; there’s no first place. Video games now are WAY more complicated than that, and asking him if he’s winning is sure to piss him off. If you’re looking to annoy him, ask this question. If not, just don’t.

3. Do ask: “What are your five favorite video games?”

This question is totally effective. Ladies, if you want your man to talk to you about games for an extended period time, this is the question to ask. Not only will appreciate your curiosity, but he will also greatly enjoy talking enumerating these games. It shows him that you’re interested and again, if you listen, you’ll gain some valuable information that can be helpful later in coming up with more questions.

4. Don’t ask: “What’s so great about this anyway?”

Ladies, this question is wrong on SO many levels! Not only does it imply that your guy shouldn’t be playing video games at all (which is enough to make him roll his eyes), it also sounds like you don’t plan on listening to his answer! The number one thing you must do in order to maintain any relationship is LISTEN! Whether you’re dating a gamer, an Internet junkie, a nerd, a jock, a punk, an emo, or even just a human person, communication is the KEY to a successful relationship! How can you expect him to listen to stories about your day if you don’t take any interest in what he has to say?

5. Do ask: “What do you like about this particular game?”

This question is always a good one. It’s sweet, simple, and to the point, but it’s bound to get a great response. By asking this question, trollmates, you show your gamer that you’re interested in what he has to say, and that you know that there’s more than one type of game out there, and different reasons for liking them. That’s really important, because it lets him know that you care. Plus, it’s never a bad thing when your man looks forward to explaining something to you.

So there you have it, my lovely ladies! You are now officially trained in the art of asking your gamer questions!

Remember, these can always be applied to different things, like a certain website or piece of Internet culture. If your man is in into Naruto or some other “nerd thing” that’s not a game, you can simply apply the questions to that. All trollmates can use this kind of advice and I’m so happy to supply it!

Happy holidays, and stay tuned for a Gamer Guy Gift Guide!

~ ❤ ~

Taylor

P.S. IF YOU BOUGHT ANYTHING COOL AT BLACK FRIDAY, comment below! I wanna hear your CRAZY Black Friday shopping stories!

Post #4: Trollmates for Real

Hey there, Trollmates! 🙂

Sorry I haven’t updated this week! I have been so very busy this week eating pizza rolls  coming up with ideas for articles and even writing some guests posts, which will bring even more trollmates to our community!

Today though, I’m dedicating this post to my amazing boyfriend!

“But Taylor!” You might be wondering, “Why the hell should we care about your life?”

Well, ladies (and gents), you should care because I am living proof that a non-gamer to gamer relationship can work and be strong, so long as you work at it! Even more than that, it’s to share with you my story so that you know I’m not some random foreveralone person who knows nothing about relationships. I have one, a great one. And that’s why I made this blog.

So, today is my two year anniversary with my boyfriend! He and I, as the title suggests, are trollmates for real, and two years is a big deal for us! So to celebrate, I want to share some things with you that I’ve found extremely helpful in making our relationship last.

That brings us to the topic of today’s post:

  • Rule Number Two: Ask Questions

Last summer, my boyfriend and I went through a really rough patch that called our whole relationship into question. Sometimes we felt like we simply had nothing to talk about, that we had settled into a routine and couldn’t get out of it.

That’s when we learned to ask questions. I don’t mean, “Why didn’t you call me?!” type questions. I mean questions about each other, and about the things we love. This is especially true for a gamer to non-gamer relationship; Gamers LOVE to talk about their games! But more importantly, they love that you care enough to want to learn. Which means you need to also follow this:

  • Rule Number Three: Listen to the Answers

Ladies, asking questions isn’t going to help your relationship if you aren’t interested in hearing the answer! If you really want to make it work with someone, you have to be interested in the things that they care about! Now, that doesn’t mean you have to sit and play Guild Wars 2 for a few hours and become a fan of it; it just means that you like/love/care about the other person enough to hear what they have to say. Personally, it makes me feel really great when I listen to my gamer guy talk about games that he likes. It makes me feel like I can share in that part of his life, even though games aren’t really my thing. In fact, the idea of sitting at a computer for hours on end playing with 8 bit blocks sounds like my own personal version of hell. But hey, my man loves minecraft. I love the idea of marriage. Sometimes you just don’t agree. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have an amazing relationship! We just have to compromise, and become interested in the things the other likes.

So, long story short, he and I made it to two years, and I truly believe we’re in it for the long haul. Only time will tell, but I love him from the bottom of my heart, and I’m confident that I will forever have things to post on this blog, because he and I will always be together. 🙂

A cheesy tangent, I know, but hey! It only happens once a year, so cut me some slack!

Trollmates, continue to stay tuned! Within the next few days I will be posting a list of the top questions to ask your boyfriend about gaming, so if you found this post helpful, follow us @trollmatesunite to see when that next post goes live! Trust me, you will definitely want to read it, because it will be SUPER helpful, and they will all be questions I have ACTUALLY used to spark conversations (and closeness!) with my gamer guy. Because, let’s be real ladies: Sometimes you have no idea what he’s talking about, but don’t want to 4 hour explanation of something you really didn’t care about in the first place. I totally have you covered!

Like I said, there’s some really exciting announcements and things coming, so stay tuned! Keep coming back, keep showing your friends! Like us on facebook by either clicking “like” on the side of the blog or visiting our page. Comment, like, email me! I love suggestions!

Stay safe if you’re going to be affected by Hurricane Sandy!

~ ❤ ~

Taylor

 

photocred to funnyjunk.com

Post #1: It’s Me Or Call of Duty!

My lovely trollmates, as you all know, having a gamer as a boyfriend can be tough. Sure, some of them are ultra-romantic, but the vast majority of them are not. So how do we get them to appreciate us? And more importantly, how do we get them to put down the controller?!

Even if you are a gamer yourself, you’re still a woman, which means you have certain needs for your relationship. Women need some tenderness and affection, can I get an AMEN?!

However! This blog is not for those girls who think their boys should just put down the game console permanently and go watch the Titanic in 3D while brushing each other’s hair and talking about Gucci handbags. This leads us to the first rule of dating a gamer!

  • Rule Number One: Don’t make him choose.

The first step of being a trollmate is understanding that games are just as much as a part of your man’s life as you are. If you tell him its you or the games, be prepared for him to show you the door, not because he loves the games more than you by any means, but because you would be taking away something that he enjoys. That would be like him telling you to choose between him and a pair of Louboutin red bottoms. You shouldn’t have to choose between two things you love, why should he? This is especially true for those trollmates who are also gamers. He wouldn’t ask you to quit playing your game, so why should his situation be any different?

Now, many of you ladies might be saying: “But Taylor! My man is too old to play those games! He’s an adult, video games are for children!” And at one time, I would have agreed with you. But remember, no one will ever say a man is too old to hunt or fish! To which you ladies might respond, “But hunting and fishing are skills that would be useful! Video games aren’t!” To which I would respond: Honey, if the zombie Apocalypse happens, you’re gonna be glad you found a man who knew exactly what weapons to bring and where to hide.

But seriously, as childish as they may seem, video games are really a way for guys to de-stress. I mean, hey, if my boyfriend wants to kill something, I’m just glad it’s zombies in a virtual game rather than him actually going out and committing actual crimes. No, this does not mean that men who play games are more violent than those who don’t. All men have some type of aggression or masculine energy that they need to use up. Some guys play sports. Some guys play video games. It’s all good.

Now, of course this doesn’t mean that men should be allowed to play video games all day every day while we make them sammiches and clean the house. This IS the 21st century ladies, and we need some attention once in a while. I mean, they ARE our boyfriends, after all.

Basically what I’m saying here is that video games for some guys are a hobby; they love them, they want to play them, and they aren’t going to stop playing them just because some girl wants to talk to them 24/7. If you really wanna be with your gamer, you have to show him that you’re totally cool with him taking some time to play his games. Do this, and I promise he’ll appreciate you.

So ladies, the next time your man is playing his xbox for an hour or two, let him. Once he sees that you’re okay with his first love, his xbox, he’ll be more willing to let YOU into his life, permanently.

~<3 ~

Taylor

A Girl’s Guide to a Gamer Guy: An Introduction

Hey guys!

Because this is my first official entry, I just want to do a little bit of an introduction for you all, not only to this blog, but to me and my reasons behind this blog.

Basically, I’ve always wanted to write a book called A Girl’s Guide to a Gamer Guy. Admittedly though, I’m not exactly the best author in the world. Maybe someday this blog will take off and somebody will offer me a million dollar book deal. Or maybe I’ll just sit here writing this blog for myself.

Throughout my life, I’ve dated quite a few “gamer guys”, including my current boyfriend of nearly two years. As this picture suggests, my boyfriend is a total gamer. While this picture is not mine, and I didn’t create it or anything, it’s a pretty good representation of what it can feel like for the girlfriend (or wife) of a gamer. Every gamer has his own poison, be it Pokemon, Diablo, Minecraft, Skyrim, or all of the above, and it can sometimes feel as though you’re being left behind.

Contrary to the name of this blog, your beau doesn’t have to play video games for this information to apply to you. As a general rule, most guys who would identify themselves as gamers are also well-versed in internet culture as a whole, so if your man likes to browse 4chan or reddit, this is the blog for you, too, whether or not your man has an xbox. This means you too, girls who are sitting thinking “what about Runescape/Dungeons and Dragons/Yugioh/World of Warcraft/anything that hasn’t yet been included”. If your man spends an hour or more a day sitting in front of some type of fantasy or virtual reality, be it the internet or a game, this blog is for you.

In addition to gamer guys, this also applies to gamer girls. Ladies, no matter WHAT your preferences are, if you or your partner is a gamer, this blog is for you 🙂

Long story short, it’s hard for me to find other girls who can relate to the experiences I have with my gamer guy. The dynamic is often quite different for a gamer couple vs a non-gamer one, and in this day and age as internet culture is becoming more and more prominent,  it’s important for us ladies, trollmates, if you will, to band together and share our experiences. Therefore, this blog is meant for my fellow trollmates, so that you can (hopefully) laugh at some of the things I say and know that there’s someone else out there asking “wait, so which button is jump?”

Thanks for reading! More posts soon!

~ ❤ ~

Taylor

Photo credit: Melissa Davila’s 365 doodles